Charlotte Perkins Gilman, “The Yellow Wallpaper” (1899) It is very seldom that mere ordinary people like John empty for years.

and myself secure ancestral halls for the summer.

That spoils my ghostliness, I am afraid, but I don't A colonial mansion, a hereditary estate, I would say care--there is something strange about the house--I can a haunted house, and reach the height of romantic feel it.

felicity--but that would be asking too much of fate!

I even said so to John one moonlight evening but he Still I will proudly declare that there is something said what I felt was a draught, and shut the window.

queer about it.

I get unreasonably angry with John sometimes I'm Else, why should it be let so cheaply? And why have sure I never used to be so sensitive. I think it is due to stood so long untenanted?

this nervous condition.

John laughs at me, of course, but one expects that But John says if I feel so, I shall neglect proper self-in marriage.

control; so I take pains to control myself-- before him, at John is practical in the extreme. He has no patience least, and that makes me very tired.

with faith, an intense horror of superstition, and he scoffs I don't like our room a bit. I wanted one downstairs openly at any talk of things not to be felt and seen and that opened on the piazza and had roses all over the put down in figures.

window, and such pretty old-fashioned chintz hangings!

John is a physician, and perhaps--(I would not say it but John would not hear of it.

to a living soul, of course, but this is dead paper and a He said there was only one window and not room for great relief to my mind)-- perhaps that is one reason I do two beds, and no near room for him if he took another.

not get well faster.

He is very careful and loving, and hardly lets me stir You see he does not believe I am sick!

without special direction.

And what can one do?

I have a schedule prescription for each hour in the If a physician of high standing, and one's own day; he takes all care from me, and so I feel basely husband, assures friends and relatives that there is really ungrateful not to value it more.

nothing the matter with one but temporary nervous He said we came here solely on my account, that I depression--a slight hysterical tendency-- what is one to was to have perfect rest and all the air I could get. "Your do?

exercise depends on your strength, my dear," said he, My brother is also a physician, and also of high

"and your food somewhat on your appetite; but air you standing, and he says the same thing.

can absorb all the time.' So we took the nursery at the top So I take phosphates or phosphites--whichever it is, of the house.

and tonics, and journeys, and air, and exercise, and am It is a big, airy room, the whole floor nearly, with absolutely forbidden to "work" until I am well again.

windows that look all ways, and air and sunshine galore.

Personally, I disagree with their ideas.

It was nursery first and then playroom and gymnasium, I Personally, I believe that congenial work, with should judge; for the windows are barred for little excitement and change, would do me good.

children, and there are rings and things in the walls.

But what is one to do?

The paint and paper look as if a boys' school had I did write for a while in spite of them; but it does used it. It is stripped off--the paper in great patches all exhaust me a good deal--having to be so sly about it, or around the head of my bed, about as far as I can reach, else meet with heavy opposition.

and in a great place on the other side of the room low I sometimes fancy that in my condition if I had less down. I never saw a worse paper in my life.

opposition and more society and stimulus--but John says One of those sprawling flamboyant patterns the very worst thing I can do is to think about my committing every artistic sin.

condition, and I confess it always makes me feel bad.

It is dull enough to confuse the eye in following, So I will let it alone and talk about the house.

pronounced enough to constantly irritate and provoke The most beautiful place! It is quite alone standing study, and when you follow the lame uncertain curves for well back from the road, quite three miles from the village.

a little distance they suddenly commit suicide--plunge off It makes me think of English places that you read about, at outrageous angles, destroy themselves in unheard of for there are hedges and walls and gates that lock, and contradictions.

lots of separate little houses for the gardeners and The color is repellent, almost revolting; a people.

smouldering unclean yellow, strangely faded by the slow-There is a delicious garden! I never saw such a turning sunlight.

garden--large and shady, full of box-bordered paths, and It is a dull yet lurid orange in some places, a sickly lined with long grape-covered arbors with seats under sulphur tint in others.

them.

No wonder the children hated it! I should hate it There were greenhouses, too, but they are all myself if I had to live in this room long.

broken now.

There comes John, and I must put this away,--he There was some legal trouble, I believe, something hates to have me write a word.

about the heirs and coheirs; anyhow, the place has been

----------

write a little it would relieve the press of ideas and rest me.

We have been here two weeks, and I haven't felt like But I find I get pretty tired when I try.

writing before, since that first day.

It is so discouraging not to have any advice and I am sitting by the window now, up in this atrocious companionship about my work. When I get really well, nursery, and there is nothing to hinder my writing as John says we will ask Cousin Henry and Julia down for a much as I please, save lack of strength.

long visit; but he says he would as soon put fireworks in John is away all day, and even some nights when my pillow-case as to let me have those stimulating people his cases are serious.

about now.

I am glad my case is not serious!

I wish I could get well faster.

But these nervous troubles are dreadfully But I must not think about that. This paper looks to depressing.

me as if it knew what a vicious influence it had!

John does not know how much I really suffer. He There is a recurrent spot where the pattern lolls like knows there is no reason to suffer, and that satisfies him.

a broken neck and two bulbous eyes stare at you upside Of course it is only nervousness. It does weigh on down.

me so not to do my duty in any way!

I get positively angry with the impertinence of it and I meant to be such a help to John, such a real rest the everlastingness. Up and down and sideways they and comfort, and here I am a comparative burden crawl, and those absurd, unblinking eyes are everywhere.

already!

There is one place where two breaths didn't match, and Nobody would believe what an effort it is to do what the eyes go all up and down the line, one a little higher little I am able,--to dress and entertain, and order things.

than the other.

It is fortunate Mary is so good with the baby. Such a I never saw so much expression in an inanimate dear baby!

thing before, and we all know how much expression they And yet I cannot be with him, it makes me so have! I used to lie awake as a child and get more nervous.

entertainment and terror out of blank walls and plain I suppose John never was nervous in his life. He furniture than most children could find in a toy-store.

laughs at me so about this wall-paper!

I remember what a kindly wink the knobs of our big, At first he meant to repaper the room, but afterwards old bureau used to have, and there was one chair that he said that I was letting it get the better of me, and that always seemed like a strong friend.

nothing was worse for a nervous patient than to give way I used to feel that if any of the other things looked to such fancies.

too fierce I could always hop into that chair and be safe.

He said that after the wall-paper was changed it The furniture in this room is no worse than would be the heavy bedstead, and then the barred inharmonious, however, for we had to bring it all from windows, and then that gate at the head of the stairs, and downstairs. I suppose when this was used as a playroom so on.

they had to take the nursery things out, and no wonder! I

"You know the place is doing you good," he said, never saw such ravages as the children have made here.

"and really, dear, I don't care to renovate the house just The wall-paper, as I said before, is torn off in spots, for a three months' rental."

and it sticketh closer than a brother--they must have had

"Then do let us go downstairs," I said, "there are perseverance as well as hatred.

such pretty rooms there."

Then the floor is scratched and gouged and Then he took me in his arms and called me a splintered, the plaster itself is dug out here and there, and blessed little goose, and said he would go down to the this great heavy bed which is all we found in the room, cellar, if I wished, and have it whitewashed into the looks as if it had been through the wars.

bargain.

But I don't mind it a bit--only the paper.

But he is right enough about the beds and windows There comes John's sister. Such a dear girl as she and things.

is, and so careful of me! I must not let her find me writing.

It is an airy and comfortable room as any one need She is a perfect and enthusiastic housekeeper, and wish, and, of course, I would not be so silly as to make hopes for no better profession. I verily believe she thinks him uncomfortable just for a whim.

it is the writing which made me sick!

I'm really getting quite fond of the big room, all but But I can write when she is out, and see her a long that horrid paper.

way off from these windows.

Out of one window I can see the garden, those There is one that commands the road, a lovely mysterious deepshaded arbors, the riotous old-fashioned shaded winding road, and one that just looks off over the flowers, and bushes and gnarly trees.

country. A lovely country, too, full of great elms and velvet Out of another I get a lovely view of the bay and a meadows.

little private wharf belonging to the estate. There is a This wall-paper has a kind of sub-pattern in a, beautiful shaded lane that runs down there from the different shade, a particularly irritating one, for you can house. I always fancy I see people walking in these only see it in certain lights, and not clearly then.

numerous paths and arbors, but John has cautioned me But in the places where it isn't faded and where the not to give way to fancy in the least. He says that with my sun is just so--I can see a strange, provoking, formless imaginative power and habit of story-making, a nervous sort of figure, that seems to skulk about behind that silly weakness like mine is sure to lead to all manner of and conspicuous front design.

excited fancies, and that I ought to use my will and good There's sister on the stairs!

sense to check the tendency. So I try.

I think sometimes that if I were only well enough to 2

----------

----------

Well, the Fourth of July is over! The people are all I don't know why I should write this.

gone and I am tired out. John thought it might do me I don't want to.

good to see a little company, so we just had mother and I don't feel able. And I know John would think it Nellie and the children down for a week.

absurd. But I must say what I feel and think in some way-Of course I didn't do a thing. Jennie sees to

-it is such a relief!

everything now.

But the effort is getting to be greater than the relief.

But it tired me all the same.

Half the time now I am awfully lazy, and lie down John says if I don't pick up faster he shall send me ever so much.

to Weir Mitchell in the fall.

John says I mustn't lose my strength, and has me But I don't want to go there at all. I had a friend who take cod liver oil and lots of tonics and things, to say was in his hands once, and she says he is just like John nothing of ale and wine and rare meat.

and my brother, only more so!

Dear John! He loves me very dearly, and hates to Besides, it is such an undertaking to go so far.

have me sick. I tried to have a real earnest reasonable I don't feel as if it was worth while to turn my hand talk with him the other day, and tell him how I wish he over for anything, and I'm getting dreadfully fretful and would let me go and make a visit to Cousin Henry and querulous.

Julia.

I cry at nothing, and cry most of the time.

But he said I wasn't able to go, nor able to stand it Of course I don't when John is here, or anybody after I got there; and I did not make out a very good case else, but when I am alone.

for myself, for I was crying before I had finished .

And I am alone a good deal just now. John is kept in It is getting to be a great effort for me to think town very often by serious cases, and Jennie is good and straight. Just this nervous weakness I suppose.

lets me alone when I want her to.

And dear John gathered me up in his arms, and just So I walk a little in the garden or down that lovely carried me upstairs and laid me on the bed, and sat by lane, sit on the porch under the roses, and lie down up me and read to me till it tired my head.

here a good deal.

He said I was his darling and his comfort and all he I'm getting really fond of the room in spite of the wall-had, and that I must take care of myself for his sake, and paper. Perhaps because of the wall-paper.

keep well.

It dwells in my mind so!

He says no one but myself can help me out of it, that I lie here on this great immovable bed--it is nailed I must use my will and self-control and not let any silly down, I believe--and follow that pattern about by the hour.

fancies run away with me.

It is as good as gymnastics, I assure you. I start, we'll There's one comfort, the baby is well and happy, say, at the bottom, down in the corner over there where it and does not have to occupy this nursery with the horrid has not been touched, and I determine for the thousandth wall-paper.

time that I will follow that pointless pattern to some sort of If we had not used it, that blessed child would have!

a conclusion.

What a fortunate escape! Why, I wouldn't have a child of I know a little of the principle of design, and I know mine, an impressionable little thing, live in such a room this thing was not arranged on any laws of radiation, or for worlds.

alternation, or repetition, or symmetry, or anything else I never thought of it before, but it is lucky that John that I ever heard of.

kept me here after all, I can stand it so much easier than It is repeated, of course, by the breadths, but not a baby, you see.

otherwise.

Of course I never mention it to them any more--I am Looked at in one way each breadth stands alone, too wise,--but I keep watch of it all the same.

the bloated curves and flourishes--a kind of "debased There are things in that paper that nobody knows Romanesque" with delirium tremens--go waddling up and but me, or ever will.

down in isolated columns of fatuity.

Behind that outside pattern the dim shapes get But, on the other hand, they connect diagonally, and clearer every day.

the sprawling outlines run off in great slanting waves of It is always the same shape, only very numerous.

optic horror, like a lot of wallowing seaweeds in full And it is like a woman stooping down and creeping chase.

about behind that pattern. I don't like it a bit. I wonder--I The whole thing goes horizontally, too, at least it begin to think--I wish John would take me away from seems so, and I exhaust myself in trying to distinguish the here!

order of its going in that direction.

They have used a horizontal breadth for a frieze,

----------

and that adds wonderfully to the confusion.

There is one end of the room where it is almost intact, and there, when the crosslights fade and the low It is so hard to talk with John about my case, sun shines directly upon it, I can almost fancy radiation because he is so wise, and because he loves me so.

after all,--the interminable grotesques seem to form But I tried it last night.

around a common centre and rush off in headlong It was moonlight. The moon shines in all around just plunges of equal distraction.

as the sun does.

It makes me tired to follow it. I will take a nap I I hate to see it sometimes, it creeps so slowly, and guess.

always comes in by one window or another.

John was asleep and I hated to waken him, so I kept 3

still and watched the moonlight on that undulating wall-thing nobody seems to notice but myself, and that is that paper till I felt creepy.

it changes as the light changes.

The faint figure behind seemed to shake the pattern, When the sun shoots in through the east window--I just as if she wanted to get out.

always watch for that first long, straight ray--it changes so I got up softly and went to feel and see if the paper quickly that I never can quite believe it.

did move, and when I came back John was awake.

That is why I watch it always.

"What is it, little girl?" he said. "Don't go walking By moonlight--the moon shines in all night when about like that--you'll get cold."

there is a moon--I wouldn't know it was the same paper.

I thought it was a good time to talk, so I told him that At night in any kind of light, in twilight, candlelight, I really was not gaining here, and that I wished he would lamplight, and worst of all by moonlight, it becomes bars!

take me away.

The outside pattern I mean, and the woman behind it is

"Why darling!" said he, "our lease will be up in three as plain as can be.

weeks, and I can't see how to leave before.

I didn't realize for a long time what the thing was that

"The repairs are not done at home, and I cannot showed behind, that dim sub-pattern, but now I am quite possibly leave town just now. Of course if you were in any sure it is a woman.

danger, I could and would, but you really are better, dear, By daylight she is subdued, quiet. I fancy it is the whether you can see it or not. I am a doctor, dear, and I pattern that keeps her so still. It is so puzzling. It keeps know. You are gaining flesh and color, your appetite is me quiet by the hour.

better, I feel really much easier about you."

I lie down ever so much now. John says it is good

"I don't weigh a bit more," said 1, "nor as much; and for me, and to sleep all I can.

my appetite may be better in the evening when you are Indeed he started the habit by making me lie down here, but it is worse in the morning when you are away!"

for an hour after each meal.

"Bless her little heart!" said he with a big hug, "she It is a very bad habit I am convinced, for you see I shall be as sick as she pleases! But now let's improve the don't sleep.

shining hours by going to sleep, and talk about it in the And that cultivates deceit, for I don't tell them I'm morning!"

awake--O no!

"And you won't go away?" I asked gloomily.

The fact is I am getting a little afraid of John.

"Why, how can I, dear? It is only three weeks more He seems very queer sometimes, and even Jennie and then we will take a nice little trip of a few days while has an inexplicable look.

Jennie is getting the house ready. Really dear you are It strikes me occasionally, just as a scientific better!"

hypothesis,--that perhaps it is the paper!

"Better in body perhaps--" I began, and stopped I have watched John when he did not know I was short, for he sat up straight and looked at me with such a looking, and come into the room suddenly on the most stern, reproachful look that I could not say another word.

innocent excuses, and I've caught him several times

"My darling," said he, "I beg of you, for my sake and looking at the paper! And Jennie too. I caught Jennie with for our child's sake, as well as for your own, that you will her hand on it once.

never for one instant let that idea enter your mind! There She didn't know I was in the room, and when I asked is nothing so dangerous, so fascinating, to a her in a quiet, a very quiet voice, with the most restrained temperament like yours. It is a false and foolish fancy.

manner possible, what she was doing with the paper--she Can you not trust me as a physician when I tell you so?"

turned around as if she had been caught stealing, and So of course I said no more on that score, and we looked quite angry-- asked me why I should frighten her went to sleep before long. He thought I was asleep first, so!

but I wasn't, and lay there for hours trying to decide Then she said that the paper stained everything it whether that front pattern and the back pattern really did touched, that she had found yellow smooches on all my move together or separately.

clothes and John's, and she wished we would be more careful!

----------

Did not that sound innocent? But I know she was studying that pattern, and I am determined that nobody shall find it out but myself!

On a pattern like this, by daylight, there is a lack of sequence, a defiance of law, that is a constant irritant to a normal mind.

----------

The color is hideous enough, and unreliable enough, and infuriating enough, but the pattern is torturing.

Life is very much more exciting now than it used to You think you have mastered it, but just as you get be. You see I have something more to expect, to look well underway in following, it turns a back somersault and forward to, to watch. I really do eat better, and am more there you are. It slaps you in the face, knocks you down, quiet than I was.

and tramples upon you. It is like a bad dream.

The outside pattern is a florid arabesque, reminding John is so pleased to see me improve! He laughed a little one of a fungus. If you can imagine a toadstool in joints, the other day, and said I seemed to be flourishing in spite an interminable string of toadstools, budding and of my wall-paper.

sprouting in endless convolutions--why, that is something I turned it off with a laugh. I had no intention of like it.

telling him it was because of the wall-paper--he would That is, sometimes!

make fun of me. He might even want to take me away.

There is one marked peculiarity about this paper, a 4

I don't want to leave now until I have found it out.

eyes white!

There is a week more, and I think that will be enough.

If those heads were covered or taken off it would not be half so bad.

----------

----------

I'm feeling ever so much better! I don't sleep much at night, for it is so interesting to watch developments; but I think that woman gets out in the daytime!

I sleep a good deal in the daytime.

And I'll tell you why--privately--I've seen her!

In the daytime it is tiresome and perplexing.

I can see her out of every one of my windows!

There are always new shoots on the fungus, and It is the same woman, I know, for she is always new shades of yellow all over it. I cannot keep count of creeping, and most women do not creep by daylight.

them, though I have tried conscientiously.

I see her on that long road under the trees, creeping It is the strangest yellow, that wall-paper! It makes along, and when a carriage comes she hides under the me think of all the yellow things I ever saw--not beautiful blackberry vines.

ones like buttercups, but old foul, bad yellow things.

I don't blame her a bit. It must be very humiliating to But there is something else about that paper-- the be caught creeping by daylight!

smell! I noticed it the moment we came into the room, but I always lock the door when I creep by daylight. I with so much air and sun it was not bad. Now we have can't do it at night, for I know John would suspect had a week of fog and rain, and whether the windows are something at once.

open or not, the smell is here.

And John is so queer now, that I don't want to irritate It creeps all over the house.

him. I wish he would take another room! Besides, I don't I find it hovering in the dining-room, skulking in the want anybody to get that woman out at night but myself.

parlor, hiding in the hall, lying in wait for me on the stairs.

I often wonder if I could see her out of all the It gets into my hair.

windows at once.

Even when I go to ride, if I turn my head suddenly But, turn as fast as I can, I can only see out of one at and surprise it--there is that smell!

one time.

Such a peculiar odor, too! I have spent hours in And though I always see her, she may be able to trying to analyze it, to find what it smelled like.

creep faster than I can turn!

It is not bad--at first, and very gentle, but quite the I have watched her sometimes away off in the open subtlest, most enduring odor I ever met.

country, creeping as fast as a cloud shadow in a high In this damp weather it is awful, I wake up in the wind.

night and find it hanging over me.

It used to disturb me at first. I thought seriously of

----------

burning the house--to reach the smell.

But now I am used to it. The only thing I can think of that it is like is the color of the paper! A yellow smell.

If only that top pattern could be gotten off from the There is a very funny mark on this wall, low down, under one! I mean to try it, little by little.

near the mopboard. A streak that runs round the room. It I have found out another funny thing, but I shan't tell goes behind every piece of furniture, except the bed, a it this time! It does not do to trust people too much.

long, straight, even smooch, as if it had been rubbed over There are only two more days to get this paper off, and over.

and I believe John is beginning to notice. I don't like the I wonder how it was done and who did it, and what look in his eyes.

they did it for. Round and round and round--round and And I heard him ask Jennie a lot of professional round and round--it makes me dizzy!

questions about me. She had a very good report to give.

She said I slept a good deal in the daytime.

John knows I don't sleep very well at night, for all I'm

----------

so quiet!

He asked me all sorts of questions, too, and I really have discovered something at last.

pretended to be very loving and kind.

Through watching so much at night, when it changes As if I couldn't see through him!

so, I have finally found out.

Still, I don't wonder he acts so, sleeping under this The front pattern does move--and no wonder! The paper for three months.

woman behind shakes it!

It only interests me, but I feel sure John and Jennie Sometimes I think there are a great many women are secretly affected by it.

behind, and sometimes only one, and she crawls around fast, and her crawling shakes it all over.

----------

Then in the very bright spots she keeps still, and in the very shady spots she just takes hold of the bars and shakes them hard.

Hurrah! This is the last day, but it is enough. John to And she is all the time trying to climb through. But stay in town over night, and won't be out until this nobody could climb through that pattern--it strangles so; I evening.

think that is why it has so many heads.

Jennie wanted to sleep with me--the sly thing! but I They get through, and then the pattern strangles told her I should undoubtedly rest better for a night all them off and turns them upside down, and makes their alone.

That was clever, for really I wasn't alone a bit! As 5

soon as it was moonlight and that poor thing began to I suppose I shall have to get back behind the pattern crawl and shake the pattern, I got up and ran to help her.

when it comes night, and that is hard!

I pulled and she shook, I shook and she pulled, and It is so pleasant to be out in this great room and before morning we had peeled off yards of that paper.

creep around as I please!

A strip about as high as my head and half around I don't want to go outside. I won't, even if Jennie the room.

asks me to.

And then when the sun came and that awful pattern For outside you have to creep on the ground, and began to laugh at me, I declared I would finish it to-day!

everything is green instead of yellow.

We go away to-morrow, and they are moving all my But here I can creep smoothly on the floor, and my furniture down again to leave things as they were before.

shoulder just fits in that long smooch around the wall, so I Jennie looked at the wall in amazement, but I told cannot lose my way.

her merrily that I did it out of pure spite at the vicious Why there's John at the door!

thing.

It is no use, young man, you can't open it!

She laughed and said she wouldn't mind doing it How he does call and pound!

herself, but I must not get tired.

Now he's crying for an axe.

How she betrayed herself that time!

It would be a shame to break down that beautiful But I am here, and no person touches this paper but door!

me,--not alive !

"John dear!" said I in the gentlest voice, "the key is She tried to get me out of the room--it was too down by the front steps, under a plantain leaf!"

patent! But I said it was so quiet and empty and clean That silenced him for a few moments.

now that I believed I would lie down again and sleep all I Then he said--very quietly indeed, "Open the door, could; and not to wake me even for dinner--I would call my darling!"

when I woke.

"I can't," said I. "The key is down by the front door So now she is gone, and the servants are gone, and under a plantain leaf!"

the things are gone, and there is nothing left but that And then I said it again, several times, very gently great bedstead nailed down, with the canvas mattress we and slowly, and said it so often that he had to go and see, found on it.

and he got it of course, and came in. He stopped short by We shall sleep downstairs to-night, and take the the door.

boat home to-morrow.

"What is the matter?" he cried. "For God's sake, I quite enjoy the room, now it is bare again.

what are you doing!"

How those children did tear about here!

I kept on creeping just the same, but I looked at him This bedstead is fairly gnawed!

over my shoulder.

But I must get to work.

"I've got out at last," said I, "in spite of you and Jane.

I have locked the door and thrown the key down into And I've pulled off most of the paper, so you can't put me the front path.

back!"

I don't want to go out, and I don't want to have Now why should that man have fainted? But he did, anybody come in, till John comes.

and right across my path by the wall, so that I had to I want to astonish him.

creep over him every time!

I've got a rope up here that even Jennie did not find.

If that woman does get out, and tries to get away, I can tie her!

But I forgot I could not reach far without anything to stand on!

This bed will not move!

I tried to lift and push it until I was lame, and then I got so angry I bit off a little piece at one corner--but it hurt my teeth.

Then I peeled off all the paper I could reach standing on the floor. It sticks horribly and the pattern just enjoys it!

All those strangled heads and bulbous eyes and waddling fungus growths just shriek with derision!

I am getting angry enough to do something desperate. To jump out of the window would be admirable exercise, but the bars are too strong even to try.

Besides I wouldn't do it. Of course not. I know well enough that a step like that is improper and might be misconstrued.

I don't like to look out of the windows even-- there are so many of those creeping women, and they creep so fast.

I wonder if they all come out of that wall-paper as I did?

But I am securely fastened now by my well-hidden rope--you don't get me out in the road there!

6